


thin mints

by AlmondRose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Girl Scouts, actually idk how angsty it actually is hmmmmm, non-american readers im so sorry if u dont get this rip, this is a fic about cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 19:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14503899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: A trio of girl scouts decide that the best way to sell cookies is to go to every single house in Gotham. Including the rich people houses. Wayne Manor doesn't know what hit it.





	thin mints

**Author's Note:**

> full disclosure: i wasn't a girl scout nor do i know anything about girl scouts so all of my girl scout knowledge is based off books or movies or whatever. if you're a girl scout and you're reading this and i butchered the process, im sorry :0

Stephanie Brown and Danielle Kim and Abbie-Lynn Johnson are selling Girl Scout cookies. It’s their first year, and they all crowd in Dani’s treehouse and discuss a  _ strategy.  _

 

“We could go to my apartment building,” Abbie-Lynn offers. “There’s a lotta people there.”

 

“My neighborhood is pretty big, too,” Dani says, and they both turn to Steph. “What do you think?”

 

“I think we should go to  _ every single house in Gotham,”  _ Steph says, determined, and Dani and Abbie-Lynn look shocked, even though Steph’d thought that seemed obvious. 

 

“Every house?” Dani says doubtfully, and Abbie-Lynn says, slowly, “My big sibling could drive us. They probably wouldn’t mind.”

 

“I think we could do it,” Steph says, excitedly, and Abbie-Lynn starts to look excited, too. 

 

“We’d be soo cool,” she gushes. “Way cooler than Jackie and Marina in front of the grocery store.”

 

“Cooler than Jackie and Marina?” Dani asks, and Abbie-Lynn nods. Steph does too, for good measure. “Then I’m in.”

 

“It’s a plan,” Steph says, and she puts her hand in the middle. Dani and Abbie-Lynn put their hands on top of hers and they cheer. 

 

They’re gonna be  _ so much  _ cooler than Jackie and Marina. 

 

\---

 

As it turns out, Gotham has a  _ lot  _ of houses. But Max is willing to drive them, and Dani wants to beat Marina and Jackie, and Abbie-Lynn is along for the ride, and Steph wants--well, she’s not sure why this is so important, but it is. Maybe cause it was her idea. 

 

Anyway, Max drives them around, and it takes a long time, but they get all the houses. 

 

Steph’s pretty sure they’re done, and that they  _ actually _ did it, when Max turns and drives away from anywhere Steph knows, and past the skyscrapers and all the city stuff, and to a house that’s bigger than any Steph’s ever seen. 

 

“We gotta get the rich guys before we’ve gotten everyone,” Max says, then they park and say, “Go wild.” 

 

Steph and Abbie-Lynn and Dani fall out of the car and run to the front door, which is opened by a tall woman with brown hair. 

 

She frowns down at them. 

 

“We don’t take solicitors,” she says. “Even mini ones.”

 

“Can’t we sell you our cookies?” Dani asks, and the woman shakes her head. 

 

“No thank you,” she says. “We’re on a diet.”

 

And she slams the door. 

 

“That wasn’t very nice,” Abbie-Lynn says, and Steph says, “She’s too rich to care about us. Come on, maybe there are  _ nice  _ rich people.”

 

They go to the houses near that one, and some of them are nice and some are mean, but most of them have butlers or maids or whatever answer the door, and Steph can tell that Dani and Abbie-Lynn get more and more intimidated with each door they knock on. 

 

They finish the row and trek back to Max’s car. 

 

“Done,” Abbie-Lynn declares, and Max shakes their head. 

 

“You forgot to go that way,” they say, pointing in the other direction from their first house. “That’s the last one.”

 

Steph doesn’t  _ see  _ any house, but she trusts that Max knows what they’re talking about, and she leads her friends onward.

 

They go up a long, long driveway, and turn around a corner, to reveal the most beautiful house Steph’s ever seen. It looks like a  _ castle.  _

 

“There’s no way I’m going in there,” Dani says, her voice small. 

 

“Me neither,” Abbie-Lynn says. 

 

“What about every house?” Steph asks, and her friends shake their heads. 

 

“That’s not a house,” Abbie-Lynn says. “It can’t count.”

 

“Sure it does,” Steph says. Her friends don’t budge. “Fine. I’ll go up there myself.”

 

Steph clutches her clipboard and turns to march up through the gates, which have fancy W’s on them, cut through the grass, which is the greenest of greens, and to the front door. 

 

Steph looks back, and her friends are hovering by the gate. 

 

Steph turns to the door, tosses her ponytail over her shoulder, and knocks. 

 

She only has to wait a second before a teenager that’s probably younger than Max opens the door. 

 

“Yes?” he asks, looking down at her. 

 

“Hi!” Steph says, smiling big at him. “My name is Stephanie, and I’m with the Girl Scouts! Can I interest you in some cookies?”

 

“Girl Scout cookies, huh?” the teenager asks. “I’ve never had a Girl Scout cookie before.”

 

“No way!” Steph says, her jaw dropping. 

 

“Yes way!” the guy says. “I’ve never tried one. I don’t even know where to start to buy one of these. What kinds are any good?”

 

“I mean, you’re probably rich enough to buy all the kinds to try them all,” Steph reasons, and the boy laughs. But not in a mean way, in a you-said-something-funny-way. 

 

“I guess I am!” the boy says. “So I’ll take one of everything, then.”

 

“Great,” Steph says, scribbling on her clipboard. “What’s your name for the order?”

 

“Jason,” the boy says. “Jason, um, Wayne.”

 

“Like  _ the  _ Wayne?” Steph asks, looking up at him with big eyes. “Like the one who--” She cuts off when she remembers  _ how  _ she’s heard of Wayne. 

 

“Who does what?” Jason asks, and Steph finishes, quietly, “Sends money when your dad’s in Blackgate.”

 

“Oh,” Jason says. “Yeah, that’s the same Wayne.”

 

“Cool,” Steph says, quiet, and Jason ruffles her hair. Steph squawks in surpise. 

 

“Hey, kid, lemme get you some lemonade,” Jason says. “For the road.”

 

“Don’t you want to know how much your cookies cost?” Steph asks, and Jason says, “Nah, Bruce can handle if I splurge just this once. Wait here for a sec while I get your lemonade.”

 

He goes inside and leaves the door open a crack. Steph peeks inside, unable to resist. 

 

She can’t see much, but she spots a crystal chandelier and a huge staircase before someone walks by and Steph scampers back outside. The person walking by--a man--turns and goes to the door. 

 

“What’s this?” he asks, an eyebrow raised. He looks like the butlers that were in the other houses. 

 

“Oh, I just bought cookies from her, Alf,” Jason says, returning all of a sudden with three plastic cups full of lemonade. 

 

“And you didn’t invite her inside? Shame on you,” Alf says, but his eyes are twinkly and Steph likes him immediately. 

 

“Didn’t wanna freak her out,” Jason says, and he hands her the lemonade. “For your friends by the gate, too.”

 

“Thanks,” Steph says. “I’ll come back in a few weeks with the cookies!”

 

“Good,” Jason says. “I can’t wait.”

 

And with that, Steph turns and leaves the Wayne castle and runs back down to her friends.

 

“I got you some lemonade!” she says, and Abbie-Lynn takes her cup and starts to drink it. Dani takes hers and says, “But did you sell any cookies?”

 

“Oh yeah, they bought one of each kind,” Steph says, and Abbie-Lynn almost spits out her lemonade and Dani’s jaw drops. 

 

Steph grins at them. 

 

“Hey guys,” she says. “We hit every house.”

 

Her friends forget their shock and start shrieking instead. 

 

“We’re cooler than Marina and Jackie!” Dani says, and Steph suspects they were always cooler than Marina and Jackie, but she doesn’t say that.

 

\---

 

Steph brings the cookies back to Jason alone again, cause Dani was sick and Abbie-Lynn got grounded. 

 

When she knocks on the door, though, neither Jason nor Alf answer.

 

Some big man in a grey sweater does. He’s frowning.

 

“Hi!” Steph says, trying to smile. “I have Jason’s cookies!” 

 

“Oh,” the man says. “Right.”

 

“Here’s the receipt,” Steph says, and she hands it to him. “We only take cash or checks, but if you don’t have it in cash I can come back--”

 

“No,” the man says. “I’ll get it. Come in.”

 

So Steph finally goes inside the castle-house, and she stares around in wonder. The ceiling is big and the chandelier is bigger than she thought and there are  _ two  _ staircases that go up to a big door on the landing, and the banisters on the stairs are very shiny and Steph  _ badly  _ wants to slide down them. 

 

The man comes back, and Steph hadn’t really noticed that he even left, and he hands her the check and she squints at the name. 

 

“ _ You’re  _ Bruce Wayne?” she asks, forgetting to be polite, and he smiles, a little. 

 

“Yes,” he says. “What’s your name?”

 

“Stephanie,” she says. Bruce nods in understanding. 

 

“Let me take those cookies,” he says. “Do you want anything to drink?”

 

“Sure,” Steph says, and he grabs the whole big box of cookies and tucks it under one arm, leading her though the house.

 

It’s so big, and grand, and wonderful. 

 

Bruce stops at the kitchen, and puts the cookies on the counter and opens the fridge.

 

“We have lemonade, water, juice, milk, I think that’s Sprite back there,” he lists, and Steph says, “Juice, please,” and he hands her a juice box. She’d thought that maybe he’d have the super fancy kind, a kind she’s never even heard of, but she likes the juice box better.

 

“Thank you!” she says, and he nods at her, leads her back to the front door. 

 

“Thanks for the cookies,” he says, and she says, “Thanks for the business! I’ll be back next year!”

 

“I sure hope so,” Bruce says, chuckling, and Steph runs back down the drive.

 

\---

 

The next time Steph knocks on the doors of Bruce Wayne’s house, Alf opens it with a faintly surprised look.

 

When he sees her his face gets even more surprised. 

 

“Girl Scout cookies,” she reminds him, and Alf’s face twists. 

 

“I had thought that you wouldn’t be returning,” Alf says. “After what happened with Master Jason.”

 

Steph  _ had  _ watched the news, and she did know what happened to Jason, and she had cried about it--although she wasn’t gonna admit that. 

 

“I figure adults need cookies, too,” Steph says, shrugging, and Alf’s mouth curls up in a smile.

 

“A box of thin mints and another of the lemon ones, then,” Alf says, and Steph scribbles it down. “Do you want to come in for some juice?”

 

“Yes, please,” Steph says, and Alf leads her inside.

 

\----

 

“Didn’t you have friends the first time you came here?” Bruce asks around a thin mint. Alfred glares at him and Bruce swallows quickly. 

 

“Yeah,” Steph says. “But Abbie-Lynn moved to Central and Dani’s a  _ butt.”  _

 

“Ah,” Bruce says, and he offers her another thin mint. 

 

She eats it--she  _ never  _ actually gets to eat Girl Scout cookies, ‘cause they’re too expensive--and she says, “Who’re the tagalongs for?”

 

She knows Bruce likes thin mints and Alfred likes the lemon ones, and she thinks the tagalongs must be a gift cause Bruce bought two boxes. 

 

“One for Dick and one for Clark,” Bruce says, and Steph nods like she knows who either of those people are. “If they happen to come around.”

 

“Cool,” Steph says, then she hops off her stool. “I should go.”

 

“Nice seeing you again, Miss Stephanie,” Alfred says, and Bruce nods. 

 

“I’ll be back next year!” Steph promises, and she fully intends to keep up with that promise. 

 

\----

 

When Steph comes back the next year, someone new opens the door. 

 

“You must be Stephanie with the cookies,” the guy says, smiling. “Bruce is out of town and he told me that you might come.”

 

“Who’re you, then?” Steph asks, vaguely aware that she’s being rude but not really caring. 

 

“My name’s Dick,” he says. “I’m Jason’s older brother.”

 

“Oh,” Steph says, and then she looks down at her clipboard. “Thin mints, tagalongs, and the lemon ones?”

 

“Sounds about right,” Dick says, beaming. Steph writes it down and Dick says, “Oh, right, get an extra box of thin mints.”

 

“Okay,” Steph says. “Uh, see you later, I guess.”

 

“Wait!” Dick says, and he vanishes into the house, reappearing a minute later with a juice box. 

 

Steph takes it and grins. “Thanks!”

 

“No problem. It was nice to meet you, Stephanie with the cookies.”

 

“You too, Dick Jason’s brother,” Steph says, and she turns back to wave whenever she reaches the gate. 

 

\---

 

“Here’s your cookies,” Steph says, handing Dick the box. He hands her a check and says, “Lemonade?”

 

Steph nods and he leads her inside, even though she already knows how to get to the kitchen. 

 

Bruce is at the kitchen table, looking beyond tired. 

 

“What happened to your arm?” Steph asks, and Bruce looks down at the cast on his arm as if surprised. 

 

“Broke,” he says. “I fell.”

 

“That sucks,” Steph says. “But I brought cookies?”

 

“Good,” Bruce says. “What’ll we do when you outgrow selling cookies?”

 

“I’ll figure it out,” Steph says. “You won’t lose your cookies.”

 

“Good,” Bruce says again, and then Dick hands Steph a lemonade, and a box of thin mints. 

 

“For you,” he says, and Steph almost starts crying. 

 

“Thanks,” she says, reverently. “Are you sure?”

 

“Of course,” Dick says. “My treat.”

 

Steph remembers that he’d bought an extra box. For her, even then?

 

She hugs the box closer to her chest. 

 

“I’ve never had my own box before,” she says, and Dick smiles and ruffles her hair.

 

\----

 

“I’ll be back next year!” Stephanie yells behind her as she runs. 

 

“ _ That’s  _ Cluemaster’s kid?” Dick asks, leaning against the door and watching her bike away. “She’s way different than I thought she’d be, just based off of environment.” 

 

“Yeah,” Bruce says. “Yeah, she’s a good kid.”

 

\----

 

She doesn’t come back the next year. 

 

\----

 

“You don’t  _ see  _ me!” Spoiler screams. “You only see my stupid  _ dad! _ Maybe you should look past all this  _ orange  _ you see in front of my face, and look at the purple that’s right under your nose!”

 

Batman opens his mouth but she cuts him off. 

 

“I  _ hate  _ you!” she yells. “I hate this--this lack of trust! God! You aren’t even listening!”

 

But Batman  _ is  _ listening, he just doesn’t know what to say. How can he tell her that when he looks at her, all he sees is a tiny nine year old sipping lemonade in his kitchen? How can he tell her that all he sees is her face the day Dick bought her her own box of thin mints? How can he tell her?

 

He makes up his mind.

 

“Stephanie--” he tries, ready to just take off his cowl and  _ show  _ her (he’s never been good with words)--but she cuts him off. 

 

“It’s  _ Spoiler,”  _ she hisses. “God. Just--just leave me alone, okay?”

 

And she grapples away, and Batman doesn’t know what to--what to do, so he goes to the teenagers in front of the grocery store--

 

“Mr. Wayne!” the first one says, her eyes wide. “Do you want any cookies?”

 

“A box of thin mints, please,” Bruce says, and the second girl says, “You’re just in time! We’re almost out of them.”

 

“We’re always almost out of thin mints, Marina,” the first girl reminds her, then she gets the box. “Four dollars, please.”

 

Bruce hands her the change, and leaves--

 

and he takes the box of cookies, and leaves it in front of Stephanie’s door, and he doesn’t know what she’ll make if it, but--he knows what  _ he  _ makes of it, and leaves it at that.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed & comments/kudos are always welcome!


End file.
